Podcast
Static Radio
Hosted by Bob LeMent · EN
The strange and humorous happenings in the lives of two US Midwesterners.
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Bad Movies
Apr 2200:31:11Tap to summarizeBob blames Miles for the terrible movies being made for the streaming services, while Miles pitches a film idea where Bob gets killed by zombies and maybe sharks. Subscribe Random show from the last 25+ years Random Post THE LEMENT DELUGE A 90-Minute Action Spectacular CHARACTERS BOB LEMENT (50s): A former combat engineer turned survivalist. SARAH (30s): A local hydrologist trapped at the estate. THE HORDE: A swarm of reanimated corpses. THE PACK: A school of 200+ aggressive bull sharks. ACT I: THE BREACH (0:00 – 30:00) EXT. LEMENT ESTATE – NIGHT The Lement Estate is a fortress of iron and concrete nestled against a massive, government-built flood wall. Rain lashes down. Bob Lement patrols the perimeter. He spots the “Shamblers”—the undead—emerging from the treeline. He engages with a suppressed rifle, thinning the numbers. INT. LEMENT ESTATE – CONTINUOUS Sarah, hiding in the basement monitoring station, screams as a tremor hits. The pressure gauges hit red. SARAH Bob! The wall! The integrity is failing! EXT. FLOOD WALL – MOMENTS LATER Bob races toward the wall as it buckles. The concrete shrieks. With a sound like a thunderclap, the wall shears open. A massive, high-velocity surge of river water pours through, sweeping the incoming zombies away instantly. But as the water clears, the real terror emerges. Dark, muscular shapes launch themselves through the breach. Bulls. Dozens of them, surfing the floodwater toward the house. ACT II: THE FEEDING FRENZY (30:00 – 75:00) EXT. THE SUBMERGED YARD – CONTINUOUS The house is now an island in a raging, man-made river. The zombies that survived the impact are trying to wade toward the porch. A Bull Shark breaches the surface, its massive jaws snapping a zombie in half at the waist. The water turns into a chaotic churn of grey flesh and rotting limbs. INT. SECOND FLOOR – CONTINUOUS Bob and Sarah watch from the balcony. BOB They’re not just eating the dead, Sarah. They’re patrolling. SARAH They’re trapped in the estate grounds because of the sediment berms! They’re hungry and they’re confined! ACTION SEQUENCE: Bob and Sarah must move from the house to the reinforced workshop (a detached structure) to activate the emergency pumps. To get there, they have to navigate a catwalk above the water. Sharks jump, snapping at their boots. Zombies grab at the catwalk supports. Bob uses a high-powered spear gun—designed for shark defense—to pin sharks to the mud while Sarah uses a flare gun to ignite floating debris, creating a “fire moat” to deter the predators. ACT III: THE FINAL FLOOD (75:00 – 90:00) EXT. THE WORKSHOP – NIGHT They reach the workshop, soaked and exhausted. The water is rising. BOB If I open the secondary sluice gates, we can draw the water and the predators out into the low-lying basin. But I need someone to manually crank the intake valve inside the tunnel. SARAH That’s underwater, Bob! BOB (A grim smile) I’m a combat engineer. I’ll make it breathe. Bob dons a makeshift rebreather. He dives into the churning, shark-infested hell. Underwater, the scene is visceral: a strobe-light effect of lightning illuminating sharks circling, teeth flashing. Bob reaches the valve. A massive Bull Shark, scarred and blind in one eye, charges. Bob uses his diving knife, driving it into the shark’s gill slit. He turns the valve. THE CLIMAX The suction is immense. The water—and the sharks—are dragged violently through the drainage tunnels. The zombies are swept away in the wake. The water recedes, leaving the estate a graveyard of shark teeth and shredded remains. EXT. LEMENT ESTATE – DAWN Bob crawls back onto the porch. Sarah pulls him up. They look out at the landscape, now quiet. BOB Think that’s the end of it? SARAH (Looking at the dark water) Nature has a long memory, Bob. FADE TO BLACK. https://youtube.com/live/gAB0ndR8_8Q Bob blames Miles for the terrible movies being made for the streaming services, while Miles pitches a film idea where Bob gets killed by zombies and maybe sharks. Bad Movies Bad AI Transcript Don’t what? Don’t tongue touch it. Hey everyone, this is Miles with Static Radio. I think each week you get more and more awkward. You mean in real life or on the show or? Well, yeah, all the way around. All together. Hello, everyone. This is Miles. Hi. Hi. Yes. I’m a noon teen. Yes, I’m Miles. I have candy in my pocket. Yes. Just in case anybody needs a butterscotch disc, I got you covered. Or a hat with three corners. What are you, like a reenactor or something? I’m reenacting. I like this show. You’re on one tonight. Last night, we’re off our usual schedule. Last night, Miles sends me a text early, which I don’t check my text at night. Can you show up and feel a good guy headache? Yeah, I had a headache. Oddly enough, it was only words, text, but I could hear the voice. Can you do a good headache move? Yeah.So we’re off our schedule, but that’s fine. The response was weird, though. It was like, that’s okay, honey. We can do it later. Yeah, I kissed you on the forehead. I know. I’m like, this is getting weird. I’m like, you know what? I’m never going to text him again. This is so uncomfortably weird. I’m like, no, I don’t. I kissed you on the forehead, took your temperature. And not by mouth either. No, I just kissed you on the forehead. Yeah, okay. I’m uncomfortable. It’s okay. It’s okay. I said, Miles, it’s all right. It’s all right. You could be ill with a migraine. My doctor is Christopher Walken, I guess. That’s right. That would be awkward. I have the cure. Do you have one?You take that watch. It’s called gold infusion. Oh. It’s like a suppository. Anyway. Yeah. I’m feeling good. I’m okay. I’ll be all right. You know, I don’t feel good. I just, I don’t know. I got really bad bong bong in my head. It goes bong bong, you know what I mean? I just didn’t have a story. I was like, fuck it. I don’t have no story. Yeah, that’s why I’m going to call in sic...
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Bottle Service
Apr 1400:28:14Tap to summarizeMiles helps Desiree with a personal issue, while Bob changes his ordering procedure. Subscribe Random show from the last 25+ years Random Post https://youtube.com/live/r95ZbxHYsQs Miles helps Desiree with a personal issue, while Bob changes his ordering procedure. Bottle Service Bad AI Transcript Hey, did you happen to see the most beautiful girl in the world? And if you did, oh, she crying, crying, hey. I’m lying here with Linda on my mind. Hey everyone, this is Miles. Is that Conway Twitty? Yes, Conway Twitty, yeah. Are you a Twitty, what do they call those, Twitty Titties? What do they call those women that like Conway Twitty? I didn’t know it existed, but I guess. Back in the day. I see. something like that. They had some kind of, you know, funny name for them. Uh, not where i came from, but okay. Yeah. Really? I was really, you know, those women with the like bleach blonde, tall hair, you know, where they had keep going out went out and bought like the leaning tower, a piece of hair for their head. Oh yeah. Yeah. That big beehive kind of bullshit you know yeah well we’re going way back here, folks.Way back. Way back. Classic. I’ve got to tell you. Welcome, everybody, to the show. We’re glad you’re here. Thanks for listening. Really appreciate it. taking donations for the miles title ER fund. gone so much lately that, you know, he really needs to put in for a, you know. I need some adderall people, so come on, man. If everybody would just, here’s my po box, mail me all your leftover drugs. Yeah, anything. Yeah. That would be like if you remember the soupy sales thing where he said to take Oh, yeah. Yeah, that would be you. You’d be like, I’ll take any. Leftover prescriptions. Yeah. Don’t even have to label them. And breast milk. Yeah. That’d be weird. Yeah. That was a weird thing to say. Yeah. Yeah. Fresh or frozen. I actually saw that on a, like one of those community boards there on something like some days I, I got plenty. So if anyone’s interested. And look, that’s a weird question. Now, would you give your, well, I know you would take it yourself, but would you give your child someone else’s breast milk?I don’t know how that works. Is that right? I mean, I don’t know. I mean, you give other people milk and that doesn’t seem right. Well, I know. I mean, what if the woman’s a tweaker or something? You know, I don’t know. People call me the space cowboy. Got breast milk on Craigslist. You see some weird stuff sometimes. I don’t know. Some people call me. Miles title. I’m down with the breast milk of love. I like a sippy cup full of bee juice. Oh, I hope my family’s not listening. Please. God. Yeah. If my nephew’s listening, this is all scripted. So if you’re listening, I’d be forced to read this. He’s got blackmail material on me that I cannot shake all the way from my college days. Yeah, basically.So I’ve been forced to do this all these years because of it. I could not tell my story without… Don’t blame your old Uncle Miles. It’s not his fault. I’m trying to think of… I traveled and you think I would have funny things to talk about. Do you like to go out and eat? I did. Well, this is kind of funny because… Not because it was inherently funny, but I got an out to eat story for you. And you love to judge people. So go ahead. Continue. How’s that breast milk tasting right now? So I was working out of town and I needed to get some food. I did not eat lunch. I skipped lunch because I didn’t. I don’t know. They had this kind of bagel sandwich thing going on. And I was thirsty for a teat. And then they’ll have this stuff all over. I cannot stand my food smeared with other juicy condiments. Like breast milk? Or whatever. Yeah. If you put a little cornstarch in it, you can thicken it up.Make it into a nice spread. Put a little strawberry into it. It’ll taste great. It’s like quick. I’m like, okay, I’m skipping lunch because they threw all the sandwiches in a big kiddie pool full of mayonnaise or something. I’m like, I cannot. No, I’m not going to have that. It’s not the salad I ordered. And they’re like, Bob, do you want some lunch? I’m like, no, no. You know, there’s always in the movie or whatever where somebody’s not going to touch whatever it is, like shaking their head. No, no, that was me. But Marie, I am awful thirsty. Yeah, and so I skipped lunch. So I was really hungry, but then I had to do an evening thing. So I’ve wanted, I know you’re going to,Was that like Buffalo Bill’s dance in the Silence of the Lambs? Was that your evening thing where you talk a little and start dancing? That’s right. What size are you? I picture that’s your evening thing. Would you eat mayonnaise? I’d eat a mayonnaise so hard. I’m not eating the mayonnaise. It puts the mayonnaise on the bagel. It’s the lotion in the bagel. I only had an hour to go get something to eat and get back. The problem was this venue was nowhere near anything. I wanted to have a nice salad and a steak. So I drove, they’re both healthy. So, yeah, exactly. So I was, uh, I was sitting there not paying attention, which I should have been and looking up and I’m like, oh my gosh, I could eat a steak and get a salad and a steak here at the hotel. And it’s going to cost me like $60. I know it was a fancy place and I’m like, but there’s an outback about 15 minutes away.Yeah. So I hightail it to the Outback during my time. Mm-hmm. You know, I’m driving. You know, you hear like Dukes of Hazzard music in the back. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. Because I’m down at Lake of the Ozarks, which is already Dukes of Hazzard country. You get to the DV car. Come on. Yeah. So I go screaming into the Outback, and I get seated. And this nice lady comes over is going to be my waitress. And she’s like, well, you want to drink? And so I told her and, um, and then she comes back and she took a little long with the drink. You know what I mean? Sorry. I was almost on the clock here. I got to get out of here. Right. It was a big cup full of breast milk. It took me a little while. I’m sorry. Yeah.I actually had Coke Zero, which is my new drink of choice. Yeah, go ahead. Because, you know, I love Coca-Cola. But anyway, so she comes back with my Coke, and she’s like, you ready to order? And I’m like, yes. And I go, don’t delay anything. I go, I want it all as quickly as possible. You want an asshole. Jesus. I wasn’t being mean. And she’s She’s like looking at me like, she’s like, you know the salad will come out first, right? Maybe it will. Maybe it won’t. I go, yes. I go, but don’t delay anything. Just put it all in. I don’t care when it comes out. I got to eat and get out of here. And she’s like all confused. Mm-hmm. She’s like, oh, okay. Mm-hmm.Anyway, she brings me my salad and my bread, which, by the way, they have the best bread. I don’t know what the h...
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Amigo Punch
Apr 800:32:46Tap to summarizeBob finally sees the world as it is and gets punished for it, while Miles just wants to watch an Easter classic movie with zombies. Subscribe Random show from the last 25+ years Random Post https://youtube.com/live/RcIioiRqWMM Bob finally sees the world as it is and gets punished for it, while Miles just wants to watch an Easter classic movie with zombies. Amigo Punch Bad AI Transcript you to get thirsty in the middle of the show for christ’s sake yeah exactly Thank you. What are you drinking tonight, sir? Tea. Sweet tea? Sweet tea. Stevia? Yeah. Sugar? No, it’s artificial flavor. Just checking. Just checking. Nope. Let’s check in. Oh, my Lord. Yeah. Lordy, lordy, lordy, lordy. Easter’s over now. Yeah, happy Easter. 2026, if you’re keeping track. Here comes Peter Cottontail, hopping down the bunny trail. Hippity-hoppity, Easter’s on its way. Right up, up, up. Bring in all the girls and boys. Baskets full of Easter toys. Until Miles Title shoots his head away. Huh? I don’t know. You’re violent. You got a shotgun for Easter. You’re going to use it. Yeah. That’s all. Yeah. So the… The foot healing continues over here at the Lament Household. Yeah, how’s the cripple doing? She’s doing good. I will tell you, discrimination is alive and well in this country. You just now figured that out? Yeah.Uh, very discriminatory behavior. So for whatever, well, we went, my daughter was in town for easter and we went out to dinner, you know, we’d like to go out to dinner oh yeah and uh there’s a whole conversation because my wife is somewhat incapacitated currently with her foot surgery. about how we were going to get the young lady to the venue and get her into the venue and get her seated. It’s very packed. It’s a very busy place. The tables are close together. It’s a very popular place that we like to go. There’s a lot of concern about getting her in and out. It’s kind of like a high-level… kind of Secret Service-y, presidential-coordinated kind of a situation here. Right. And so we made a plan.and executed it perfectly. And we’re in… So they have all these little rooms, right? It’s like this restaurant with all these rooms full of tables where people sit and eat, you know. They’re fantasy rooms. It’s not like a… No, it’s not like a big open space. A lot of… It’s really like a house. And, like, we were in a room with a fireplace. I don’t know. Welcome to the large cock room. And… You’re stuck in the gutter tonight, aren’t you? Oh, I am. Okay. So we get her seated and everything and everything’s good. She’s in a place where she can’t get run into by other people or anything accidentally or anybody kicking her foot or anything. Right. Protected. We’ve got our escape routes planned.So anyway, the next thing you know, this old guy comes in with like a walker and sits down at the table next to us. And I’m like, well, and then we were giggling, you know, because they’re like, oh, this is the handicapped room. Let’s make fun of the man who lived through the Holocaust. That’s right. Let’s make fun of him. Holocaust Bill, he survived and here he is as a steakhead. I hope not. He’s just an old guy, had a walker. And so my daughter and I kind of looked at each other and we’re like, I guess this is where they’re putting all the people with disabilities. And then, no wonder we said that, another guy comes in on a little scooter thing. Yeah. And then another. And literally everyone around usIt was incapacitated in some way, shape, or form. They bring in some guy in an iron lung. Could you make room, please? Yeah, and then these one people finished and left, and they were replaced by another person with a handicap. Well, you don’t know. And I’m like, is everything else up like a ramp or something or a slide? I don’t… You know? Yeah. I’m like, how can this be? Do they just clump them together? Is this some law in St. Louis? Yeah, I don’t know. If I go to the bathroom, am I going to walk through the Asian room or something like that? No, you can’t go in there. Sorry. Yeah, sorry. This is the hot models room. Sorry. Sorry, sir. No Jews allowed.All right. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. So, yeah, no, it was like it was like everybody was lumped in that room. Yeah. I mean, it was it was spooky because I mean, we were just joking. And the next thing I thought just happenstance that this guy shows up at about the same time, you know. Yeah. No, pretty much. Pretty much a good portion of the room had somebody with some kind of disability. Okay. I’m like, this cannot be happening, honestly. Yeah. And people just kept coming in, and you’re like, oh. Yeah. Well, this place is packed. I’m telling you. Everything had to be timed out perfectly so that we didn’t have to wait a long time to get a table, you know. Yeah. It wasn’t one of those freedom flights, you know, where all those old guys get flown over to. No. John Cena didn’t have a pack of children in there with him eating steaks or anything. John Cena.This is the wrestler’s room. Yeah. No, this is, this is the, uh, uh, make a wish area. Yeah. Now it gets, it gets better. I got another, uh, story for you. You’re seated in the pool. They don’t eat salad room. No, no, no, no. So we’re, we’re just not about them. This happened tonight. This happened tonight. Yes. So, you know, she has a hard time getting around. So we were sitting, uh, downstairs in our usual spots next to each other in the living room. And she’s getting up out of her chair and grabs a hold of her little scooter thing, her wheelie cart thing, knee scooter. And I’m like, where are you going? And she’s like, oh, I’m going to the bathroom and then I’m going to go upstairs. And I’m like, oh, okay.Then she proceeds to fall into me fist first. And she cock punched me really hard. Like full body weight on the knuckles right in the crotch. Right in the dick. Yes. Why would she do that? I was leaned back. I was reclined. I was all open. Eyes closed. Yawning. Yeah, so I start screaming. And she’s like, I’m sorry. But then she keeps pushing because she’s trying to get back up on her one good leg. Yeah, right. She’s trying to bounce off your thing. She’s like, ding, ding. She’s pushing herself back up off of my squishy parts. And I’m like, oh, my God. And I’m partially reclined. So I cannot. If I move the recliner. Yeah. I’m not gonna crush your leg or something. I’m like, I can’t move until you get up. And she’s like, I’m like, ah!And then she starts laughing. And she has to go to the bathroom. You know, I cannot wait to see the cartoon for this one that you’re going to come. I don’t even know how you’re going to show this. Yeah, I don’t know either. Wife punches husband in the dick in the recliner. I don’t kn...
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Trip Taker
Mar 3100:26:17Tap to summarizeMiles takes in more of the countryside than he expected, while Bob gets bested by a grandma. Subscribe Random show from the last 25+ years Random Post https://youtube.com/live/R0ylJTK3mhg Miles takes in more of the countryside than he expected, while Bob gets bested by a grandma. Trip Taker Bad AI Transcript Yeah, it’s live streaming. Live streaming is on. That’s right. Oh. Hey, everybody. Welcome to Static Show. This is Bob. Closing time. Hey, everyone. This is Miles. Welcome to Static Radio, man. Glad you stopped by. Have a seat. Closing time. I knew that’d get you all down, you know, memory rough. You’d be like, oh, I love that song. I love it. Birth, school, work, death. I don’t know what I’ve been told. That’s the Godfather’s birth, school, work, death. We were having a bunch of old songs tonight we were listening to, which used to be new songs, but now they’re old songs. Thank you very much. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Time flies. Yeah. Time flies. Well, I’m back in the studio, so CB reported in that there was a problem with the show last week, but… Yeah. Yeah, he told me. Oh, okay. You guys chatted, did you? We had our girl talk. Secret passing notes under the desk, were you? We spilled the tea. But the file seems fine, so I don’t know what happened. I clicked on it. I heard the whole show. I heard the whole goddamn thing. I heard my whole story. He’s not very bright. Yeah, well, I don’t know. I think there was something wrong. Yeah, with him. Can’t figure out what’s going on. He’s a mental patient. He couldn’t figure it out. He’s like mental. We’ll see what happens this week and hopefully it’ll all be fine. He thinks he’s a titmouse. Closing time. My friend CB the titmouse. He’s a titmouse. He’s a little titmouse. Is a titmouse just a tiny mouse? I mean, is there really? You know, I don’t know. You just like saying the word tit. Yeah, I know. It’s funny. If only there was an ass mouse. Yeah. I don’t have many story choices this week, and I’m trying to decide which boring ass story I’m going to tell. Yeah, I know. I’m waiting. I’m like, okay, when is he going to throw out the first pitch, man? Come on. Let’s go, man. Closing time. Oh, Christ. One last call for alcohol. Before you… Give me a whiskey or beer. All right. So I talked about my wife last week, so I’ll talk about the aftermath of what happens when my wife is not around. So as you know, and I know you don’t want to hear about this because you always get all weird when I talk about it. I am trying to better myself, and I have gone swimming. I go swimming, right? I’m glad you swim. Oh, thank you. I thought you were going to get weird again for a minute. No, I’m glad you’re doing something with your life, you know, swimming. Yeah, but now usually my wife and I go together. And she’s out of commission, right? So she can’t go swimming. And so I had to go by myself. So I get up. I go to go swimming. And I’m getting prepared. It’s just a bunch of old people. You know, it’s terrible. Okay, I’m getting really upset with this. And you do lap swims. So I’m swimming laps, right? So there’s these lanes, you know. So… Well, no, that’s what they have. That’s part of the exercise, right? So I get there and there’s four lanes open for lap swim. Three of the lanes are taken. Okay. And there’s one lane open. I come in. Nobody else is there. And I’m getting ready to get in the water. I have some earplugs and stuff that I put in. And I’m standing there, and then this old lady comes in the pool area. And I swear she clocks me, right? What? She looks over at me, and she looks out the pool, and there’s only one lane left. Yeah. And that old bitch jumped right in the pool and took it. Mr. Rogel, I used to be the state swimming champion. Let me do it. Was it Shelly Winter from Poseidon Adventures? Yeah, because she’s probably like 75 years old or something. Reverend, let me do it. She makes a beeline and steals my lane. I was already there. I was just trying to get my earplugs in. Yeah, snooze you lose. Now, most people know the etiquette. You know, when you’re there, Then you get the spot, right? No. Oh, no, granny. Right in the water, right over to my spot. I didn’t see you. Then I had to swim in the non-lane area. I know. It’s not as fun. It’s not as interesting. Yeah. But that’s what happens because my wife, if my wife had been there. Oh, yeah. Well, number one, I take too long. That’s what she always says because I’m always like, you know, piddling around. She would have not stood for it. She would have been like, Mabel. Excuse me? Mabel. Get your ass out of here, you little dyke. Get out of here, you bitch. Yeah, so this is my life now. I just get trodden upon because I don’t have the enforcer with me. With the old people, you know. Bob, quit looking at Dong in the locker room and get out of here already. I’m looking at Dong. Hold on. I was talking to the Iron Man guy. Quit talking to the Iron Man guy. So anyway, that brings me up to 1982, I guess. Yeah, so I get trodden upon now that I don’t have my wife. Oh, you got bullied. bullied by uh an old lady by a grandma yeah yeah great grandma nowadays. Yeah, no kidding. I was just like, holy, I’m like, I can’t believe this because i knew she was going to do it. I was like, uh-oh. But I just can’t, you know. Yeah, so shelly winters beats you into the pool and that’s right yeah here i’m like oh jesus i couldn’t believe it, though, because, I mean, it’s kind of an unwritten rule that you, when the person who’s there gets the spot. Yeah, I don’t know. I don’t swim, so I don’t know. Well, I’m telling you. I just told you. It’s like bowling has etiquette, for instance, right? Yeah, exactly. It’s like bowling. If you are putting your shoes on and sitting in the lane and then somebody runs up and takes the lane, that’s not the way it works. Hey, man. Did you do like your best George McFly? Yeah. Hey, get your damn hands off that lady. I just was like, whatever. I’ll swim in the big open space. Whatever. I don’t. I’m like, but I was like, you know, she knew it. I mean, it was all you could tell in her eyes. She’s shifty. She’s shifty. Grandma. There’s my Barker or something. Yeah. No kidding. Who knows what happened? Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah, that happened to me, and I was like, well, I come home, I tell my wife. She’s like, what? You tell me her name. No, she’s just like, you’re so goddamn slow. Why are you so slow? That’s why you lost it. All of a sudden, she’s like Al Capone in The Untouchables. I want her dead. I want her family dead. I’m going to strangle her with her own swim fins. Yeah. Her floaties are going to go right back. That’s right. I’m going to put floaties on her ankles and stick her in head first. I couldn’t believe the grandma took my spot. I was like, surely. Oh, no, she did. I was just shocked. The world changed. Did y...
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Ankle Tragedy
Mar 2600:17:05Tap to summarizeBob pulls a Miles and tries to exact a bit of revenge on his injured wife, while Miles freaks out as he now has to go to a funeral. Subscribe Random show from the last 25+ years Random Post https://youtu.be/cybkSB-ZSIs Bob pulls a Miles and tries to exact a bit of revenge on his injured wife, while Miles freaks out as he now has to go to a funeral. Ankle Tragedy Bad AI Transcript All right, fellas, let’s go. static hey everybody welcome to the show this is bob Welcome to Channing’s Charges. This is Myers. Harold Channing here. I’m way too comfortable tonight. Sorry. Are you eating beef jerky while you’re trying to record? That’s right. I got some jerky. Yeah. Actually, I bought myself a And now here comes the Jimmy Stewart story. I bought myself some pizza Pringles tonight. Oh, it sounds like someone’s had a little bit too many… What? No, it sounds like you kind of slashed your words there. Hey, everybody! Hey! No, I… Yeah, I… i’m out of town uh tonight and I’ve, uh, typically when i go out of town, which i did do tonight, I usually go by some place and i pick up, uh, you know, something to drink. Yeah. Not alcohol necessarily, but something to drink to have in my room uh because i’m gonna be here for a few days and i get a couple of snacks and i got some popcorn, which, you know, I,I cannot live without popcorn these days. Yeah. And then I said, well, I’m going to get something else. Yeah. And I wanted to get pizza combos. Yeah. I love those. Those are just so great. Yeah. They did not have them. All they had was the nasty cracker combos, cheese cracker combos. And so I’m taking a leap here. And I got pizza Pringles. I haven’t tried them yet. That’s the tomorrow snack. For a guy who’s always preaching about eating salad, this is a little shocking. I don’t preach about eating salad. I just tell you that I eat some salad. So, you know. If I could just put salad in a Pringles can, I’d be all set. Salad Pringles. They did have… They had quite a selection of Pringles. They had fully dressed Pringles, which I did not get. I don’t know what that means. Yeah, I was hoping you’d enlighten me. I have no idea what that means. I looked at the can and I’m like, I don’t know what this is going on about. But I had a weird feeling it included mayonnaise. And I’m not a big fan.And I think they had loaded baked potato Pringles. Okay. All right. You like that one? Okay. Yeah, I’d try it. Yeah, why not? And then they had the more pedestrian sour cream and onion and cheddar cheese Pringles. And the Western salad. And they had no regular Pringles. They were all out. So I’m like, all right, I’m going to live large today. I’m going to get the pizza Pringles and we’re going to find out later. I’m going to break out the old wallet here and we’re going to try it out. Tune in next week. Explosive diarrhea. See how well these pizza Pringles go over. Maybe my new addiction here. I don’t know. Are you okay? You’re acting a little weird tonight. I don’t know. I’ve had some weirdness go on in my life. Oh, really? Okay. Well, there you go. I am high atop the Flynn building here. I own a mountain of Flynn. I was just telling Miles I’m on the 37th floor of this hotel. And a helicopter…was outside my window landing on a lower building. Yeah. I have never seen that before, and I probably won’t see it again, I don’t think. I’ve just seen Steve McQueen and Red Button. Dollar and Inferno. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, don’t, please, don’t. Don’t jinx me. Next week, the… Don’t jinx me. I’m in an infamous building as well. It’s very infamous. I guess I’ll say it. I am in what used to be called the Hyatt Regency in Kansas City. Yeah. And, you know, people have to be a little bit knowledgeable, but this is the site of the worst architectural failure in the United States ever. A hundred and some people died in this building back in the 80s. Is it haunted? We’ll find out. I will report back. It’ll be next week’s show will be Pizza Pringles and possible dead ghost who fell from a balcony. And if you want to go see Bob, he’s currently on the 10th floor in 1003 if you’d like to knock on that door. Yeah. You would love to have guests, especially really late at night. So if you want to go. I think I’m on a restricted floor, just so you know.Restricted? What’s that? Well, when you’re so high up in the building, you have to have a key card. Oh, I see. The elevator, like, does not go that high. Yeah. Yeah. But anyway, I didn’t really want to talk about any of that, to be honest with you. Yeah, I’m surprised you did. You’re Mr. Secret. Yeah, I usually don’t disclose, but since no one’s going to hear this until after I’m gone, it’s fine. Um, no, I wanted to, I wanted to, uh, so this is more, this is more of a miles title story. I’ll be honest with you. Every week. I hear this every week. I hear this. Except my normally wouldn’t do, but, uh, you know, so, uh, recently my wife hurt her foot. Okay. And she had to have surgery. Mm hmm.And she’s been kind of incapacitated because of this. And so, you know, she can’t walk on her foot. And I’ve been helping her and so forth. And here’s where the Miles title part comes in. I’ve been a little bit… Yeah, go ahead. A little bit ornery about it. Yeah, yeah. Because… you know, if you’ve listened to this, I have been laid up on more than one occasion because I’ve hurt myself and this goes all the way back to my college days when I tore my ACL and I haven’t, I’ve been in the position that she’s in where she’s kind of a little bit helpless. Right. And I was helpless when we were younger. And she was not always the nicest. And there was a lot of, you know, come on, Bob, quit being such a pussy. You can’t be in that much pain. Bob’s spilling the tea tonight. Yeah. So I was like, and then now, of course,So what happened with me is I had laparoscopic surgery on my knee. I’d hurt my knee. I bent it backwards. And I had laparoscopic surgery. Basically, I bent it backwards and it stayed like that for, what, like two weeks or something before I get surgery? Anyway, I had surgery. And then when we were in college, and so we were living together in college, and I basically lived on the couch then for a good, weeks and I was like god I have this like one spot on my knee it feels like it’s on fire and I’m in like such horrible horrible pain and then well do you come into the story a bit because I they gave me a bunch of Tylenol with codeine mm-hmm which which I took and then I couldn’t stay awake all right and so I stopped taking it because I literally would just like not off randomlyAnd then I took it. And then you took it. Yeah. I took it for you. I thought we both should experience the same thing. You swung by. I go, God, this Tylenol with coating is killi...
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Oscar Whizzer
Mar 1800:33:34Tap to summarizeMiles gets bamboozled into a strange work duty that leaves him without proper facilities, while Bob marvels at how he and Michael B Jordan sat in the same booth at In-N-Out. Subscribe Random show from the last 25+ years Random Post https://youtube.com/live/ABwCuSEo_Tk Miles gets bamboozled into a strange work duty that leaves him without proper facilities, while Bob marvels at how he and Michael B Jordan sat in the same booth at In-N-Out. Oscar Whizzer Bad AI Transcript It’s on. It’s on. Let me see that. I want you all to sing along to the fifth dimension now. Hey, everyone, this is Miles. What song are you going to sing? The fifth dimension. You have to get some better references, I think. No, I was just watching that DTF St. Louis. Oh, you were? I haven’t watched it yet. How was it? Boy, if you like dong, man, is it loaded? Oh, really? Well. I know you don’t care, but there you are. I don’t care. I think that’s fine. No, I don’t. Yes. I don’t know. Whatever. I’m a little old-fashioned. How many different penises would you say you saw on the show so far? I don’t know. So many you can’t count? There was just one is enough. One. Yeah, one.I think you’re right. No, it’s good. Besides that, Jason Bateman, oh, he’s great. Linda Gargolini. Did Jason Bateman show his penis? Is that what you’re talking about? No, no, no. What about the Stranger Things guy? Well, I can’t really go into it. Oh, okay. It’s one of those you have to see it? Yeah. It turns out Linda Cardellini is actually tucked. which is like the surprise shocker, like the Stomelon twist that you were not expecting. Oh. Yeah. Why would you reveal that? You wouldn’t talk about the stranger thing. I thought you were going to watch this show, so I don’t want to ruin it for you. Yeah, you’ll just tell me that. Oh, Linda Carlini, by the way. No, I made that up. Oh, okay. There you go. I do. I am curious to watch it.I doubt if it was even shot down here. I’m sure they have some establishing shots or something. I think I saw your house in the background. It wasn’t there. Are they in the burbs or are they in the city? They’re in the burbs. Is there a city called Twyla or something like that? No. I made it up, I think. Oh, they wouldn’t do that. They’re going to show dicks. They’re not going to pick anything up. Yeah. penis is the only honest. Yeah, it’s not an honest show unless you see all yeah if you see a penis, it’s an honest show for christ then you know it’s real. Yeah, salt of the earth. Yeah, that’s what i can’t enjoy myself i yeah i um i do have that on my, uh, list of things to watch. I think you would enjoy it well okay good is it funnyDid you know? Well, see, I saw the preview, and I thought, hmm, this is right up my alley, you know? All right. We’re going to show dicks. Yeah, like, no, no. No, like, Linda’s at this ball game with Jason, and she’s got this beers in her hand, and she puts one in between her legs. And she’s like, this one’s for you, Bob. And he’s like, no, no, no, I can’t. She’s like, yeah, I know. All right. Can I have a straw? Huh? That would have added something to it. Yeah. Yeah. They’re a Bush stadium, which. Oh my God. I didn’t look at that. That’s the funniest joke. I didn’t even think about it. Yeah. Yeah. You’re right. Bush, which is, yeah. And she puts the beer between your legs. Huh? Yeah. Huh?naturally brewed. She didn’t call herself, you know, get your beer from Little Augie, did she? Yeah, I don’t know. It’s my own IPA, you know what I’m saying? Belma from the Scooby-Doo movies? Oh my gosh. Yeah, so I see the preview, I’m like, oh, all right, this is right up Miles’ alley, and then I start watching, I’m like, pump the brakes. It really is up my alley. so i think you’ll like it. Okay, well, I’ll check it out. I’ve got, for some reason, I’ve got uh things stacking up here, so. Yeah. On the show front, because i like to have a good show, you know. All the kids, you know, from stranger things do cameos and stuff they’re all We’re all 18. We’re going to show our dicks. Yeah, the kid with no teeth shows up. You’re a bush team. This beer tastes a little flat. Got a hair in it. What do you call this? Chlamydia. Nice, nice.I love to watch these shows that supposedly take place in places that I’ve been just to see if they really were there. There’s a lot of product placement, too, in it. Oh, really? Because Ozark was not shot in the Ozarks. I’ve been to the Ozarks many, many, many times. Many times. And there’s a few scenes that are actually in the Ozarks. Very few. Most of that was not shot in the Ozarks, I can tell you. I believe it. Yeah, it was shot actually up in Michigan. Toronto. Yeah. No, Michigan. Michigan. No, no. That was a good show, too. I didn’t watch it. Oh, you didn’t? Oh, you should watch that. Uh-oh. I’m watching One Piece right now. You watch One Piece on Netflix? No. Oh, you should. It’s a good show. I’m going to research shows now. I’m going to be honest with you. I’m going to research the shows a little bit.I don’t think you got your free subscription to Mr. Skin anymore. Yeah, I know. Stupid jerk. Bastard. Oh, my goodness. Yeah, so, you know. I don’t know. Does he talk about penises? I have no idea. You’re the one that researched. You actually went on Mr. Skin when we actually had that. Well, don’t make it sound like it was just me on there. Now, you… No, I never even looked at the site. I think you did. I did not. Because you already nabbed the free one. Yeah. Snooze you lose, man. Whatever, man. There was only one free subscription, and so you got it. Right. Correct. Oh, like you’d be on there. You’d be like, no, I can’t look at it. Don’t show me. don’t show me. The puppet show. The puppet show. So, yeah. I do think that uh we’ll claim we’ll lay claim to this, whether it’s true or not how’s that okay that we got Mr. Skin in trouble with howard stern yeah yeah yeah i don’t know if people know that yeah so mr skin was on our show many, many, many moons ago. AndAt that time, Howard Stern was actually syndicated on regular radio stations, and he was on the station here in St. Louis, and I was listening to it. And shortly after Mr. Skin was on our show, Howard Stern yelled at him on air and said, what are you doing all these other shows for? Mm-hmm. Yeah. And he had just done our show, so there you go. What? We were talking about Ruth Gordon. I mean, what? Come on. Yeah. You know, I mean, come on, Howard. Geez. Give me a break. Well, that’s my territory. Oh, you know. Yeah. Okay. Whatever. Robin. Robin. Let me tell you, Ruth Gordon, the sexiest woman, Robin. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, I think that was, that did the, it was a weird coincidence that actually happened. Well, another bridge burnt. Yeah. Go put that in the list. So, uh, did you watch the Oscars at all?No. Do you have any know...
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Good Shape
Mar 1000:24:51Tap to summarizeBob feels he is getting scrutinized at a work lunch, while Miles visits his old temp job and gets rewarded. Subscribe Random show from the last 25+ years Random Post https://youtube.com/live/XjjoSvokt2U Bob feels he is getting scrutinized at a work lunch, while Miles visits his old temp job and gets rewarded. Good Shape Bad AI Transcript I’m coming out. Hey, everyone. This is Miles. Welcome to Static. We had to get the requisite Miles title throat clearing going on here. I have a disease. I was going to say, what condition do you have now? The same thing that Michael Douglas had. What was that? Yeah. HPV? Yeah. I don’t know how you got that. Yeah. Yeah. Unless you replace the middle P with a different word like human penis virus or something like that. that would be your HPV, I think. That’s funny. Yeah. That’s funny. You feeling okay? Uh, yeah, yeah, I’m still here. I’m still here that’s fantastic are you you’re all right i’m well i could be better. Yeah? I’m good, but i could be better. Oh. I, um, I recently had an experience that makes me wonder about a few things. Our sexual identity? That could be one of them, but I don’t think it has anything to do with this story. Okay. So I’m taking over a project. And in doing so, I met the person who was doing this. They’re going to retire.And, you know, I’ve had like some emails and a couple of zoom calls. Well, it got to the point now where I had to go meet with them to get like some files and things. Right. And so, uh, I did that and, you know, I’m, I love to go to lunch. I don’t know if I’ve, if I’ve made that clear. Oh yeah. You don’t miss lunch. I would miss dinner more than – definitely breakfast, but lunch I like to catch. And so I happen to be there over lunch, and I’m like, well, let’s go get some lunch. So before we go get lunch, we’re kind of going through stuff, and I’m getting information passed off to me. And it’s this woman, and she’s going to retire, and she’s like, well –My husband, he tore his Achilles tendon, and he was playing Frisbee on the beach. He’s a 65-year-old man. You can’t be running around playing Frisbee on the beach when you’re 65. Jeez, what the hell? Right. And then she’s looking at me, I think, somewhat scrutinously. Yeah. She’s like, well, he’s in great shape. Unlike. Yeah, no, she didn’t say that, but she’s just like kept saying he’s in great shape. But even in great shape, you can’t be playing frisbee at 65. Well, I didn’t know, right? Yeah, and i’m like, oh, it’s terrible. That’s how horrible oh surgery you know, he tore his achilles Achilles. Yeah, and I’m like, that just sounds horrible. It just happened. They were on vacation and it just happened. So then we get to lunch. Again, she brings it up.My husband, he’s in great shape. his ass it’s awesome. He tore his Achilles. Yeah, I got it yeah yeah i got it. And then i feel like she’s kind of giving me the, like, you know, there’s, there’s no way in hell you can play frisbee on the beach. Is she just got up being alzheimer’s or something that she keeps forgetting no i i don’t think well she didn’t repeat anything else. I mean, she’s retiring. Maybe she has to retire. No, No, I don’t think she has to. I was just like, okay, okay. But she kept all in the lunch. Same thing. You know, he’s not fat and hairy. That’s right. It’s like he’s in really good shape. And I’m like, I’m like, is this, you know,Maybe she was trying to encourage you as you were eating your salad. I did have salad, by the way. You love salad. I know. You’re on the salad kit. But I did have a slice of pizza as well. You take the good, you take the bad. This is the crazy thing. I’ve never had anybody do this when I’ve gone to lunch with them. She ordered onion rings for the table. Oh, boy. I’m like, she’s talking about how good shape her husband is, and she gets these big onion rings. Yeah. I’m like, it’s totally incongruous. I don’t know where this is going. I don’t understand it. She was seeing how you’d react to it, probably. Well, unfortunately, I don’t react to much. It was a test. You think? It was absolutely 100%.percent test, yeah. Well, I tried to be, you know, well, I’m sorry that he hurt his ankle or whatever yeah but yeah i but yeah again and again, I mean, how many times do i got to be tested? I don’t know if i told you this or not. Like, oh, please, God, no. So I was just like, I’m like, I was very confused. I mean, she’s a very nice person and everything, but yeah. This just seemed to, I mean, obviously it was on her mind, you know, worried about her husband because of the situation, but he’s in very good shape. And I don’t know if she was trying to set me up with him or. You need to do what my dad used to do to people. He’d just be like, hurt it. And he’d just cut you off. Hurt it. You already mentioned it. Yeah. He just cut it off. Like, nope. Yeah. But I felt a little bit.self-conscious eating my slice of pizza. Did you have any onion rings? I did. Of course I did. I love onion rings. Oh, you have failed. How is that a fail? They’re delicious. I’m telling you, this is like some Hannibal Lecter bullshit she’s doing on you, man. Oh, I’m no good at that. And you fell for it. You completely fell for it. I go, oh, are these to share? Yeah, okay. And so I had a couple. You’re going to be taking off this project tomorrow. I guarantee it. No, it’s all still moving forward. Somehow, you’ll be out of this. No, everything was fine. We got along great. I am the Nostradamus, okay? I can see it. I’m telling you right now. Pretty much moving forward with it. I think your days are numbered. Thank you. I appreciate that. I wish I was in better shape now.You salad-eating freak. 65-year-old husband in good shape, mind you. He’s got buns. I wanted to say, after the third time, you got a picture? I want to see him in a Speedo. That’s right. They were in Hawaii, so maybe he was in a Speedo for a while. He probably left out the part where he was throwing a bunch of co-eds or something, trying to show off. didn’t hear the, who the other person he was throwing to. It obviously wasn’t her because she was not, she was. Yeah. About the whole situation. So. Yeah, it was some college girls he was playing frisbee with and he got hurt and he totally lied to his wife like oh wow you would do. You’re like, yeah, I still got it. Yeah. And I’d be sucking in my gut the whole time. Like, hey, ladies, let’s goSuck it in your dinner tube. How are you going to suck your gut in? I can’t do it anymore. Yeah, I know. I can’t do it anymore. If you sucked your gut in, your back would ...
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Labor Mooch
Mar 300:33:43Tap to summarizeMiles is mad because his neighbor won’t work for free, while Bob reveals he was a mooch back in the day as well. Subscribe Random show from the last 25+ years Random Post https://youtube.com/live/PRuL_RKy4Nc Miles is mad because his neighbor won’t work for free, while Bob reveals he was a mooch back in the day as well. [su_qrcode data=”https://www.staticradio.com/2026/03/03/labor-mooch/” title=”Labor Mooch” link=”https://www.staticradio.com/2026/03/03/labor-mooch/” ——————————–Bad AI Transcript of the show this week——————————- I like my blue jeans blue. Thank you. Mmhmm. it puts the lotion in the basket. Hey, everyone. This is Miles. It’s Miles Tittle. Hi, Miles. That’s right. That’s right. How’s Miles Tittle doing tonight yeah all right doing all right yeah yeah Someone mispronounced my name and now Bob thinks it’s funny to make fun of the lady. It’s a nice lady, but yet Bob has made fun of her and her. Mispronunciation. Mispronunciation and some other things he said, which I will not repeat. There’s somebody that’s not me in this conversation who’s like, you’re supposed to put a comma there. You’re supposed to put a thing there. You’re messing up your grammar. I love that voice. It was so disturbing. Don’t you know how to write? Did you go to school? You got a degree, don’t you? Okay, can you say it puts the lotion in the basket with that voice? It puts the ellipses on the line. Thank you.That’s your Mr. Grammar Police every time I write an email. I’m like quickly going, and you’re like, God, did you know how to write? Jesus Christ, God damn. Well, you just used the wrong form of a word from time to time. You’re not doing third person all the time, for Christ’s sake. You’re wrong. You’re one of those people that doesn’t know the difference between there, there, and there. You know what I’m saying? There, there, there. And I have to correct you. And you’re like, oh, I missed that day in school. You got the idea across. Quit being such a, you know, goddamn stickler. Yeah. But. But. You do know how to, you know, read your last name and say it. Say my name, say my name. Yeah.at the very very least you know she could have listened just to the show. just Not even very long into the show. She could listen to this the first, like, three seconds of the show. You say your goddamn name no i she didn’t hear the show. I wrote her. I know, but she took a moment. No. Why does she want to take a moment and listen to our shitty show for my God. a million shows out there to avoid. This is one of them. Mr. Miles Tittle wrote me today and he said, are ghosts real? I wrote several questions. Of course they are. What are you asking me for? Because I want to make money off it. So what? How many questions did you send this poor woman? No wonder she’s justwore down from you sending her questions. I might as well answer this. I’ll get this guy’s name wrong so he’ll never write me again. This is what we do. We pool our money. We buy some old shitty buildings about ready to fall down and we swear that it’s haunted. It is haunted. And then we bring in groups and they’ll immediately fall for it and be like, hey, you’re right. Okay. Where’s the building at? I mean, property’s probably cheaper, like, closer to where you live. Oh, you think? Oh, yeah, you’re in the French Riviera up there, sure. Yes, I’m on Lake Okeechobee, yes. Don’t want to brag. Everything is so high-priced, you can’t even get anything for under five grand. I’m somewhere between Clive and West Des Moines, yes. Oh, yeah. Love you.This is the most haunted house. This is the most haunted house in Iowa. Can you believe it? God damn. I’m telling you. This is how you get rich. You charge everyone. Ed Gein took a dump here two years ago. I swear to God. Hey, whatever. I’d make up shit. You know what? Everywhere around here is like Al Capone was here. I would immediately throw that in. Al Capone was here. It’s documented. He ejaculated in here somewhere. I swear to God. Found it. Oh, my God. That’s not ectoplasm. There’s a question for you to write that, lady. Do ghosts have orgasms? You know what? I’m not going to write that. I’m not going to write that. You know, this is what got me in trouble with Will Wheaton.Okay, the actor yes i i try to do, like, this funny bit that you’re doing right now, and it completely imploded. And you never forgave me for it okay well but now you know why. It’s all happening right now. I know. Now it’s going back files well wheaton was flown to the island. Come on. Yeah. When he was a young act when he was a kid actor. And he’s traumatized. And then here you’re like, who’s got the biggest ding dong in the mud pit? It was a legit question. I don’t know what, you know, it triggered him. You triggered. I don’t know. I mean, I would guess river Phoenix, but I don’t know. We’ll know now. Two things that never get old river jokes and river Phoenix, you know, that’s what I say. Oh my goodness. Gracious me. Yeah. I was a little bit of a mood tonight. I’m very tired. I’ve been,traveling okay grouchy pants tonight. Yeah, a little grouchy really tired man you know i will be traveling forever. So yeah, I’m just a little, I’m a little tired i’ve been oh no i just i was waiting for your story to begin. I was like okay i’m trying to i’m trying to think of what i feel like talking about. That’s the problem. There’s so much so much happening. The tittle thing, everything is going off here. Apparently, the lady set you off. I know. You’re like, who the hell do you think you are? I’m trying to think of what I’m allowed to talk about here. Don’t worry. We’ll cut out this part. Why don’t you go first and let me think a little bit. I’m a little bit pissed off about international events right now.Oh, what? Iran? No. Oh. Something a little bit more important than Iran. Oh, really? Something more important than that. Okay. Yes. Much more important. You’re so small-minded. Yeah. Okay. That you even say that. What should I be? Like the International Bikini Fest is not going to happen this year or what? This is typically not a political show, but it’s going to become one. Oh, Christ. Maybe we should go back to Tittle. So I’m at work, and I have kind of this cheap security camera set up on my front door. Oh, yeah. Like, it’s not a ring. It’s a knockoff. It’s kind of through my phone carrier. I don’t even know what that means. Anyway. Is that your house, or is it at the office?No, it’s at my house, but it alerts me on my phone. It’ll either say animal, person, or vehicle. Animal, mineral, or vegetable. Is that your door? We keep getting so many minerals stopping by the house. Ball site or whatever the fuck. I don’t know...
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Death Watch
Feb 2500:35:41Tap to summarizeBob finds out that even more of his high school classmates have died, while Miles is still on the mend. In other hopeful news, the Old Man stops by. Subscribe Random show from the last 25+ years Random Post https://youtube.com/live/UcksmQ91k3M Bob finds out that even more of his high school classmates have died, while Miles is still on the mend. In other hopeful news, the Old Man stops by. [su_qrcode data=”https://www.staticradio.com/2026/02/24/death-watch//” title=”Death Watch” link=”https://www.staticradio.com/2026/02/24/death-watch/” ——————————–Bad AI Transcript of the show this week——————————- You can keep singing, Miles. Go ahead and sing. Oh, my. Oh, my. Oh, my. Oh, my. Bob wax it to Jessica Pandy. Hey everyone, this is Miles. Hey Miles. Hey Jim. Jim from the doors. Wink. Yeah, I don’t buy it. Yeah, I think that is him. I don’t even know what I’m doing. Look, look, there’s my little pit. There I am right there. Oh. Is that right there? It’s hard to see your name’s cover now. Is that Hulk Hogan? No, that’s my logo for my podcast, The Old Man’s Podcast. Oh, okay. Oh, I see it now. Okay. I don’t see it. I don’t see it. I can’t see it. Well, you got cartoon eyes, Bob. That’s true. I’m looking through cartoons. You got cartoon eyes.How do I make my screen small to join? I mean, like we were, we had the three screens up there. If you go to the bottom and click on the little four squares, you go… There you go. There you go. Welcome, everybody. Miles is still alive. We’re on Death Watch. Yeah, I’m back. Miles is on Death Watch, so thankfully he’s not dead. The devil tried to get me, but… Actually, I was just going to log in and listen, listen to you guys. And then I started clicking buttons. And before I know it, bing, bang, boom, here I am. There he is. Yeah. I’m here. I’m not listening to the show. I am in the show. You’re in the show. That’s what happens. Dan Haggerty. I was going to say Uncle Jesse. Uncle Jesse. Yeah. This is a good old boy.Never meaning no harm. All you ever saw in the trouble with the law since the day they was born. Yeah. Miles is wearing his Daisy Dukes in memory. How Kamala can see in Miles is just that profile pic. That’s why he looks like a dumb guy. Yeah. Oh, so I get it. So you guys are incognito. Nobody knows what you guys really look like. And everybody look at me and go, oh, they’re going to. Yeah. Well, you look like 100 other people at Christmastime. What do you mean? I’ve had death threats. So I just kind of use that picture at this point. I’m going to be honest with this. Not even his own picture. Yeah. No, it’s true. He has in the past. He did have death threats. Oh, yeah.We’re not talking about a lot of stuff. You can go read them if you want. Your comedy is that bad? Yeah. Well, maybe misdirected. I stepped on some sacred ground, so to speak. Yeah, people are too touchy. I don’t know, man. I don’t know when people want to drown me in a lake and stuff like that. This was decades ago even. Yeah. Well, actually, we started our careers being threatened. Yeah, that’s true. In college, we were on the radio in college. If you play that song again, I’m going to come up there and kill you. No kidding. Amazing. I guess maybe I’ve had death threats. I don’t know. But I think if I had, I’ve just laughed at him. Yeah, sure. Whatever. I’m an old man.Now? Now you’re gonna speed up the process? Yeah, this is what 30 some years ago i was a young man. I didn’t want to die. I still don’t come on. Man, man. I wrestle with the grim reaper every day. You look like richard dreyfus a little bit. Oh, my goodness. It’s Mr. Holland’s opus. Yeah. Really? Yeah, a little bit, yeah. Did he have a beard in that movie? I don’t think he did in that one, but he’s got one now, I think. Yeah. Hoopa. Drive the boat. Hoopa. So the old man’s with us. We got Miles, who’s still alive and kicking. Yeah. Good job. I was going to tell a story about, you know, Miles had a, we’ll say a near-death experience. Why not?Okay. Right. Yeah. And he’s still recovering from it. And then he commented last week about how all these people I’ve known, not just him, but I’ve known have passed away. And so this last weekend, I was helping a friend of mine do some stuff. And we went to school together, high school. And I got like about 10 more people on the list, Miles. What? Yeah, he’s like, oh, yeah. So he’s like, hey, did you know this David guy, he died from cancer? I’m like, what? When did this happen? Oh, my God. I spent like six hours learning about all these people who have died slowly over an afternoon. What about that girl you screwed in the rock quarry? Is she still alive? She’s still alive, yes. What about the girl that held your penis at Burger King? Is she still alive?Still alive. Still alive. Mostly men have died. Mostly guys. Yeah, I couldn’t believe it. I was just like, what? It was like non-stop. We’d talk about something and they’d be like, yeah, oh yeah, so-and-so died. I’m like, what? Where was I? Where have I been? I got a story for you. What’s up? A guy I went to school, a friend of mine in high school, when we graduated. Did he die? No. He joined the Tucson Police Department. And he had been there for a couple of years. And I went down and I hooked up with him. And I started asking him about all the people we went to school with. And he goes, oh, yeah, we get these perp books to look at, you know, people with mugshots. He goes, yeah, I see people in there all the time. I go, really? He goes, yeah. I flip through the book and I go, oh, he’s dead.Oh, yeah, he died. Yeah. Oh, yeah, he’s in jail. It’s like an after-school yearbook. It’s like the never-ending after-school special. I’m only a perp. You’re the angel dust. You know, well, I’m at that age, Bob, where every, you know, people I know, everybody’s dying around me. I mean, it’s like, you know, it’s like my neighbor, Bob, he’s a couple of years older than me. He’s the guy I used to go golfing with. And he’d say, he’d come over, he’d go, hey, hey, old man, you know, we’re next. I go, what are you talking about? He goes, everybody’s dying. You and I, we’re left. We’re the only ones left. We’re next. I’m going, hey, get away from me, morbid. death angel it’s a death angel. I mean, it’s one thing, I mean, you expect that you’re you know, your folks, your parents, and whatnot yeah aunts and uncles, all that is expected because of the progression of time, but yeah, your your compadres right your peers you’re not ready, I’m not ready for that. This is terrible. I’m never ready for someone to tell me somebody died. Like, I had aa person I went to school with contacted me and said, oh, my mother passed away. And I’m going, oh. And I’...
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Beast of Bray Road with Dan
Feb 2200:40:04Tap to summarizeBeast of Bray Road In this episode of the Mondo Freako podcast, host Bob welcomes Dan, the recently retired host of the Happy Moment Podcast, to discuss the legend of the Beast of Bray Road. The conversation begins with a lighthearted catch-up on Dan’s recent trip to a Red Wings game before diving into the history of the Wisconsin cryptid, which gained national fame in the 1990s through the work of journalist Linda Godfrey. Dan successfully completes a five-question interactive quiz about the creature—earning himself a promised thin-crust pizza lunch in St. Louis—and reveals that his interest was sparked by a 2005 horror film. A Happy Moment https://youtube.com/live/yjTf_xJsHcw Transcript (AI transcription) So, Dan, have you had any happy moments lately? I have had some happy moments lately. As a matter of fact, a couple months ago, I was in Detroit to see a Red Wings game. So I’d say that was definitely a happy moment. Did you catch the octopus? Unfortunately, no. I was very tempted to run on your rank and try and grab it. I was sitting too far back. Sitting too far back. Welcome to Mondo Frico. How’s everybody doing tonight? I’m here with Dan, formerly of the Happy Moment Podcast. It’s going great tonight. How are you? Can I say formally of the Happy Moment podcast? Sure. Okay. I didn’t want to bring you down or anything. Oh, no. I’m retired now. You can say it. Oh, okay. Happily retired from a Happy Moment podcast. But you can always go and go and check it out. So the Happy Moment podcast, and here’s the YouTube for it.And then also you can hit him up on Instagram if you want to. And it’s available on all podcast platforms. I think I was on there for at least one, right? Maybe two. I can’t remember now. There’s two happy moments, perhaps. Oh, yeah. Always a happy moment when Bob’s on the show. Well, that’s very nice of you, Dan. You’re such a nice person. But Dan and I are going to talk tonight about… The Beast of Bray Road. Now, I’m going to give you a choice point here, Dan. So I’m assuming you know a little bit about the Beast of Bray Road because we talked previously in emails and you’re like, hey, I think I’d like to talk about that. And I said, OK, sure. But I can give you so we do a quiz. I can give you the quiz first or I can give you the quiz after I read a little bit of information about the Beast of Bray Road.Which would you rather do? Why don’t you go ahead and do a little bit of information first? Okay. All right. He’s going for the information. Information first, and then we’ll do the quiz. How’s that? Perfect. So the Beast of Bray Road is a legendary cryptid reported primarily in the rural areas near Elkhorn, Wisconsin, particularly along the quiet stretch of Bray Road. While sightings date back decades, the phenomenon gained national attention in the late 1980s and early 1990s through the investigative work of journalist Linda Godfrey. Witnesses consistently describe a massive, muscular creature standing between six and seven feet tall, covered in thick gray or black fur, and possessing a face that resembles a wolf or a large dog. Unlike a typical canine, however, the entity is frequently observed. Observed.walking upright on his hind legs or kneeling to eat, often displaying a chillingly humanoid physique and glowing yellowish-orange eyes. Unlike the classic folklore of a werewolf, which involves a human transformation under a full moon, the Beast of Bray Road is often categorized as a skunkowarkin-type creature or a relic prehistoric animal. Theories regarding its origin range from a misidentified large wolf to a bear, to more fringe explanations involving interdimensional portals or occult activity within the nearby Kettle Moraine State Forest. Despite numerous reports and local scares, no physical evidence such as a carcass or DNA sample has ever been recovered to prove its existence. Nevertheless, the legend persists as a staple of American Midwest folklore, cementing the beast’s reputation as one of the most terrifying and enduring mysteries of the Wisconsin countryside.Now, you probably knew a little bit about this, didn’t you, Dan? A little bit, yeah. But I actually first heard about The Beast of Bray Road through the movie that was released back in 2005. Oh, I had no idea. It was a movie? The Beast of Bray Road movie? Yeah, yeah. You should check it out. Oh, my God. I will. I didn’t even realize this. That’s interesting. I read some articles. Yeah, I’m not sure if it’s streaming anywhere or not, but it’s a good movie. It’s pretty scary, actually. All right. I have to look this up now while we’re talking. This is something new. I didn’t realize there was a beast. I mean, I’m sure that there’s something on it, like a documentary, but I don’t know. Yeah, no, this is a fiction movie. A Beast of Bray Road. 2005. Is that the one you’re talking about?And it’s most definitely a horror movie. Werewolf sightings in Walworth County, Wisconsin, lead a sheriff to investigate a series of deaths caused by a creature with human and wolf DNA. Oh, it’s on Tubi. Oh, sweet. So you can stay on Tubi. That’s a freebie, right? Yeah. Wow. See, I didn’t even know this existed. So I knew about the Beast of Grey Road for quite some time, but I didn’t realize that there was a movie. I’m surprised I told you about it. Yeah. This will be my weekend watch now. I’m going to have to watch this one. So what drew you to be interested in that? The movie itself or was there other connections? Well, the movie itself was interesting, but I’ve also heard a little bit about it through another podcast calledYou can say what it was. What’s the podcast? On Wednesdays, we talk weird. Okay, but what’s the podcast? That’s the podcast on Wednesdays, we talk weird. I know, I’m I’m joking, yeah. On Wednesdays We Talk Weird, hosted by Ashley Hilt. Oh, great. And so were you part of the show or were we just listening? Just listening. Oh, okay. I wasn’t sure. Because you are – well, I don’t – that’s a good question now. So I read the little blurb there that I, you know, from my research, but I guess Wisconsin – Did folks up north consider themselves all part of the Midwest as well? In Wisconsin and Michigan and everything? Yeah, that’s all considered the Midwest region. Wisconsin, Michigan, Minnesota. Yeah, I never really thought about that. Because I’m from St. Louis, and so I always think of the Midwest as just around here. And then whenever you go further north, I just thought it was further north. I didn’t think about it being the Midwest still. Yeah.So, yeah, I guess it’s all part of the Midwest then. But then if you get down to Arkansas, though, that’s not the Midwest anymore. No, to us, that’s the South. That’s the South, right. Pretty much about an hour or hour and a half past St. Louis, it’s the South. Okay. You don’t even have to get out of Missouri. I mean, and everybody’s voices, everybody’s accent changes. uh, quite drastically as you get down there. And, uh, yeah. And so then you’re in the South, you know, my, my giveaway for knowing you’re in the South is if anybody asks you if you want sweet tea, because in St. Louis, people don’t ask you that question. But as soon as you get past Cape Girardeau, that’s what do you want to drink? You want some sweet tea? It’s like, no, no, I don’t want any sweet tea. No, you know, you, you,Yeah, that’s not really used in the midwest either. No, exactly. Exactly. So, uh, you were in michigan somewhere and, uh, and so the beast of bray road maybe did you hear about it as a kid or no? No, no, I, I didn’t hear about it until i i saw the movie. Until you saw the movie? So not until after 2005 then at least. Yeah. So not until i was an adult. Yeah. See, because I remember it, um, Well, you’re younger than I am, but I remember in the 90s because that’s when I think a lot of the articles were written from the journalist that I mentioned, which I blanked on her name already. Linda Godfrey was in the, I think sometime in the m...
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