Podcast
Adult Child
Hosted by Andrea Ashley · EN
Adult Child dives deep into the lasting effects of growing up in dysfunctional families—unpacking complex and relational trauma, codependency, toxic shame, and addiction patterns with raw vulnerability and unapologetic authenticity.
Hosted by Andrea Ashley, a recovering shitshow with 17 years sober, each episode shares unfiltered insights, expert conversations, and practical tools to heal your nervous system and break free from the cycles that hold you back.
Whether you’re an adult child of alcoholics or from a dysfunctional family, navigating toxic relationships, or healing your inner child, this is your no-BS space for healing. New episodes every Wednesday & Saturday.
And damn the join The Shitshow Healing Community for live support groups and connection with fellow cycle breakers.
106episodes
Episodes
Newest firstAll episodes
Abandonment Trauma Deep Dive: Shame, Relationship Triggers & 5 Stages of Healing w/ Susan Anderson
Sep 1000:56:56Summary readyWhat if the pain you’re feeling today isn’t about the breakup, but about every wound that came before it? When abandonment gets triggered, it pulls you straight back into the shame and fear of childhood.Susan Anderson is a psychotherapist and author known as the leading expert on abandonment and healing attachment wounds. Her groundbreaking work comes not only from clinical expertise, but from living through the pain of being suddenly abandoned after nearly two decades of marriage.The Invisible Drain on Self-Esteem – Why abandonment trauma creates a chronic leak in self-worth that no achievement or relationship can fully patch until the wound itself is addressed.The 5 Stages of Abandonment – Shattering, withdrawal, internalizing, rage, and lifting — the swirl every survivor cycles through, and why knowing the stages helps normalize the chaos.How Childhood Shame Echoes in Adult Love – The rejection, neglect, or humiliation we experienced as kids resurfaces in relationships, fueling self-blame and emotional panic when faced with loss.Why We Choose Abandoning Partners – The unconscious pull toward people who can’t meet us emotionally, and how that cycle reenacts our earliest wounds.The Role of the Inner Child – How creating a “Big Me/Little Me” relationship gives us a way to reparent ourselves and redirect attachment energy inward.⬇️DAMN THE JOIN SHITSHOW - ADULT CHILD HEALING COMMUNITY⬇️https://theshitshow.mn.co4 weekly zoom support groups (Sun 3: 30 pm EST, Mon 8:30 pm EST, Tues 1 pm EST, & Thurs 8:30 pm EST)Support community at your fingertips with discussion boards and chatSIGN UP FOR SHITSHOW NATION - ADULT CHILD NEWSLETTER👩HELP A GIRL & CAT EAT🐱 www.buymeacoffee.com/adultchild🛍️SHITSHOW MERCH🛍️www.adultchildpodcast.com/shop🎙️NEW TO THE POD🎙️How I learned I was an Adult Child - The Tale of 2 BriansTHE LAUNDRY LIST - Common Characteristics of an Adult ChildFollow Andrea on socialwww.instagram.com/adultchildpodwww.tiktok.com/@adultchildpodAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
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SHITSHOW SATURDAY #168 - The Gaslighter In Your Head
Sep 600:43:09Summary readyDAMN THE JOIN SHITSHOW - ADULT CHILD HEALING COMMUNITY⬇️https://theshitshow.mn.co6 weekly zoom support groups (see the full schedule here!)Support community at your fingertips with discussion boards and chat📰SIGN UP FOR SHITSHOW NATION - ADULT CHILD NEWSLETTER👩HELP A GIRL & CAT EAT🐱 www.buymeacoffee.com/adultchild🛍️SHITSHOW MERCH🛍️www.adultchildpodcast.com/shop🎙️NEW TO THE POD🎙️How I learned I was an Adult Child - The Tale of 2 BriansTHE LAUNDRY LIST - Common Characteristics of an Adult ChildFollow Andrea on socialwww.instagram.com/adultchildpodwww.tiktok.com/@adultchildpodhttps://www.youtube.com/@adultchildpodAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
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When Breaking Your Silence Means Losing Your Family: Narcissistic Abuse, Gaslighting & Fawning w/ Dr. Ingrid Clayton
Sep 301:05:25Summary readyWhat happens when speaking your truth means losing the very people you’ve spent your whole life trying to please? For so many adult children, breaking the silence around abuse and dysfunction doesn’t bring closeness—it brings exile, denial, and the gut-punch of realizing love was always conditional.Dr. Ingrid Clayton is a clinical psychologist, trauma therapist, and the author of Believing Me: Healing from Narcissistic Abuse and Complex Trauma. Beyond her professional expertise, Ingrid shares her deeply personal story of surviving childhood narcissistic abuse, decades of gaslighting, and ultimately being estranged from her family after telling the truth. In this conversation, she opens up about how breaking silence became both the greatest heartbreak of her life—and the most powerful step toward reclaiming herself.🔑 The Betrayal of Silence – Why speaking out about abuse often leads to family backlash, denial, and estrangement.🔑 Gaslighting’s Lasting Impact – How years of being told “you’re the problem” erodes trust in your own memories—and what it takes to rebuild it.🔑 The Fawn Response Uncovered – Why people-pleasing and self-sacrifice feel like safety when they’re really survival strategies from childhood.🔑 Estrangement as Self-Protection – How setting boundaries—even with a parent—can be the only path to break cycles of harm.🔑 Owning the Story to Heal the Wounds – Why minimizing or dismissing trauma keeps us stuck, and how naming it opens the door to real recovery.⬇️DAMN THE JOIN SHITSHOW - ADULT CHILD HEALING COMMUNITY⬇️https://theshitshow.mn.co4 weekly zoom support groups (Sun 3: 30 pm EST, Mon 8:30 pm EST, Tues 1 pm EST, & Thurs 8:30 pm EST)Support community at your fingertips with discussion boards and chatSIGN UP FOR SHITSHOW NATION - ADULT CHILD NEWSLETTER👩HELP A GIRL & CAT EAT🐱 www.buymeacoffee.com/adultchild🛍️SHITSHOW MERCH🛍️www.adultchildpodcast.com/shop🎙️NEW TO THE POD🎙️How I learned I was an Adult Child - The Tale of 2 BriansTHE LAUNDRY LIST - Common Characteristics of an Adult ChildFollow Andrea on socialwww.instagram.com/adultchildpodwww.tiktok.com/@adultchildpodAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
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SHITSHOW SATURDAY #150 - Teresa N.
Apr 19, 202500:55:51Summary readyBREATHE TO HEAL: A 6-Week Journey of Somatic Release - Get your spot here LIMITED CAPACITY --> adultchildpodcast.com/breathetoheal⬇️DAMN THE JOIN SHITSHOW - ADULT CHILD HEALING COMMUNITY⬇️https://theshitshow.mn.co4 weekly zoom support groups (Sun 3: 30 pm EST, Mon 8:30 pm EST, Tues 1 pm EST, & Thurs 8:30 pm EST)Support community at your fingertips with discussion boards and chat📰SIGN UP FOR SHITSHOW NATION - ADULT CHILD NEWSLETTER👩HELP A GIRL & CAT EAT🐱 www.buymeacoffee.com/adultchild🛍️SHITSHOW MERCH🛍️www.adultchildpodcast.com/shop🎙️NEW TO THE POD🎙️How I learned I was an Adult Child - The Tale of 2 BriansTHE LAUNDRY LIST - Common Characteristics of an Adult ChildFollow Andrea on socialwww.instagram.com/adultchildpodwww.tiktok.com/@adultchildpodhttps://www.youtube.com/@adultchildpod⚠️Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://happymammoth.comOur Sponsors:* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://happymammoth.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
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Unpacking Dysfunctional Family Roles: 3 Sisters, 3 Very Different Childhoods
Apr 16, 202501:04:51Summary readyBREATHE TO HEAL: A 6-Week Journey of Somatic Release - Get your spot here LIMITED CAPACITY --> adultchildpodcast.com/breathetoheal-----Dysfunctional families don’t raise kids—they assign roles. In this powerful episode, three sisters unpack the parts they were forced to play and how they’re breaking free.Andrea sits down with three sisters—Kayla, Mariah, and Jackie—to explore the complex and often unspoken dynamics between siblings raised in the same dysfunctional home. While they shared the same environment, their emotional experiences, survival strategies, and lasting wounds were remarkably different.Whether you’re the scapegoat, the golden child, the lost one, or somewhere in between, this conversation will leave you feeling seen.What you'll hear in this episode:The different “roles” assigned to siblings in dysfunctional families—and how they shape identity and self-worthHow unresolved childhood wounds continue to play out in adult relationshipsWhat it’s like to awaken to the dysfunction as siblings at different timesThe power of individual healing—and the added layer of healing alongside siblingsWhy finding community (like The Shitshow) can be a total game-changer🎧 Tune in now and be reminded: you’re not alone in untangling the past—and healing doesn’t have to be done in isolation.New YouTube Video - The Many Faces of Functional Freeze: Why You Can’t Get Anything Done⬇️DAMN THE JOIN SHITSHOW - ADULT CHILD HEALING COMMUNITY⬇️www.adultchildpodcast.com/shitshow4 weekly zoom support groups (Sun 3: 30 pm EST, Mon 8:30 pm EST, Tues 1 pm EST, & Thurs 8:30 pm EST)Support community at your fingertips with discussion boards and chat📰SIGN UP FOR SHITSHOW NATION - ADULT CHILD NEWSLETTER👩HELP A GIRL & CAT EAT🐱 www.buymeacoffee.com/adultchild🛍️SHITSHOW MERCH🛍️www.adultchildpodcast.com/shop🎙️NEW TO THE POD🎙️How I learned I was an Adult Child - The Tale of 2 BriansTHE LAUNDRY LIST - Common Characteristics of an Adult ChildFollow Andrea on socialwww.instagram.com/adultchildpodwww.tiktok.com/@adultchildpodhttps://www.youtube.com/@adultchildpodRead lessOur Sponsors:* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://happymammoth.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
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SHITSHOW SATURDAY #149 - Josh S.
Apr 12, 202500:45:49Summary readyBREATHE TO HEAL: A 6-Week Journey of Somatic Release - Get your spot here LIMITED CAPACITY --> adultchildpodcast.com/breathetoheal⬇️DAMN THE JOIN SHITSHOW - ADULT CHILD HEALING COMMUNITY⬇️https://theshitshow.mn.co4 weekly zoom support groups (Sun 3: 30 pm EST, Mon 8:30 pm EST, Tues 1 pm EST, & Thurs 8:30 pm EST)Support community at your fingertips with discussion boards and chat📰SIGN UP FOR SHITSHOW NATION - ADULT CHILD NEWSLETTER👩HELP A GIRL & CAT EAT🐱 www.buymeacoffee.com/adultchild🛍️SHITSHOW MERCH🛍️www.adultchildpodcast.com/shop🎙️NEW TO THE POD🎙️How I learned I was an Adult Child - The Tale of 2 BriansTHE LAUNDRY LIST - Common Characteristics of an Adult ChildFollow Andrea on socialwww.instagram.com/adultchildpodwww.tiktok.com/@adultchildpodhttps://www.youtube.com/@adultchildpod⚠️Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://happymammoth.comOur Sponsors:* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://happymammoth.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
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Healing Ancestral Wounds: The Path to Emotional Well-Being w/ Blair O'Hara
Apr 9, 202501:23:57Summary readyBREATHE TO HEAL: A 6-Week Journey of Somatic Release - Get your spot here LIMITED CAPACITY --> adultchildpodcast.com/breathetohealBlair O'Hara is a Psychotherapist & Reiki Healer specializing in healing inherited generational trauma and clearing mental & emotional blocks to achieve long-lasting health & happiness.We discuss how to heal intergenerational trauma, Family Tree Pyschotherapy, how unresolved trauma manifests as physical pain, and how the ending of his marriage was the catalyst to his inherited trauma to emerge and subsequent healing journey. and his journey of healing the inherited trauma of his great- grandfather's. And his realization that he had inherited his great granfather's trauma, and his healing journey.https://www.blairohara.com/⬇️DAMN THE JOIN SHITSHOW - ADULT CHILD HEALING COMMUNITY⬇️www.adultchildpodcast.com/shitshow4 weekly zoom support groups (Sun 3: 30 pm EST, Mon 8:30 pm EST, Tues 1 pm EST, & Thurs 8:30 pm EST)Support community at your fingertips with discussion boards and chat📰SIGN UP FOR SHITSHOW NATION - ADULT CHILD NEWSLETTER👩HELP A GIRL & CAT EAT🐱 www.buymeacoffee.com/adultchild🛍️SHITSHOW MERCH🛍️www.adultchildpodcast.com/shop🎙️NEW TO THE POD🎙️How I learned I was an Adult Child - The Tale of 2 BriansTHE LAUNDRY LIST - Common Characteristics of an Adult ChildFollow Andrea on socialwww.instagram.com/adultchildpodwww.tiktok.com/@adultchildpodhttps://www.youtube.com/@adultchildpodOur Sponsors:* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://happymammoth.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
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SHITSHOW SATURDAY #148 - Humility in Healing
Apr 5, 202500:34:50Summary ready💨Breathe to Heal: A Somatic Journey to Reclaim Your Inner Child: Early Bird Pricing through July 10th - get your damn spot now!The Role of Humility in HealingHumility in trauma recovery isn’t about shrinking—it’s about softening. It’s the ability to face ourselves and our patterns without defensiveness or shame. So often, we expect healing to mean “getting over” something. But what if healing is about learning how to live with the parts of ourselves we can’t fully change? Some things—the body image issues, the fear of abandonment, the waves of rage or shutdown—don’t vanish completely. And when they resurface, it doesn’t mean we’ve failed. It just means we’re human. Real healing begins when we stop asking, “Why can’t I just let this go?” and start asking, “How can I be with this right now?”That shift takes humility. Not just the humility to say, “I’m hurting,” but also the humility to say, “This might be part of me for a long time—and I can still have a good life.” It’s not weakness. It’s strength. It’s letting go of the illusion that we’ll one day arrive at some perfected state of “healed.” Maybe we never will. Maybe healing is a verb, not a destination. Maybe the work is in allowing space for the mess to still exist without letting it define us. And maybe humility is what lets us stop striving and start accepting—with softness, not surrender.We were taught to strive for perfection, to hide our pain, to “fix” ourselves so we’d finally be worthy. But this path asks something different. It asks us to meet ourselves as we are. To integrate rather than erase. To stop waiting for some future version of us to be lovable. Humility doesn’t mean giving up—it means showing up. Gently. Again and again. Even when it hurts. Especially when it hurts.⬇️DAMN THE JOIN SHITSHOW - ADULT CHILD HEALING COMMUNITY⬇️https://theshitshow.mn.co4 weekly zoom support groups (Sun 3: 30 pm EST, Mon 8:30 pm EST, Tues 1 pm EST, & Thurs 8:30 pm EST)Support community at your fingertips with discussion boards and chat📰SIGN UP FOR SHITSHOW NATION - ADULT CHILD NEWSLETTER👩HELP A GIRL & CAT EAT🐱 www.buymeacoffee.com/adultchild🛍️SHITSHOW MERCH🛍️www.adultchildpodcast.com/shop🎙️NEW TO THE POD🎙️How I learned I was an Adult Child - The Tale of 2 BriansTHE LAUNDRY LIST - Common Characteristics of an Adult ChildFollow Andrea on socialwww.instagram.com/adultchildpodwww.tiktok.com/@adultchildpodhttps://www.youtube.com/@adultchildpod⚠️Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://happymammoth.comCheck out La Pure and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://www.lapurecosmetics.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
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The Deep Reveal: From Survival to Self-Compassion (ACA Steps 4-7)
Apr 2, 202501:05:31Summary readyBREATHE TO HEAL: A 6-Week Journey of Somatic Release - Get your spot here LIMITED CAPACITY --> adultchildpodcast.com/breathetohealYou can’t heal what you’re still afraid to look at. This is about confronting what’s been buried—and learning to stop abandoning yourself in the process.In today’s episode, Andrea is diving deep into Steps 4–7 of the ACA program. These ask us to face the pain we’ve been avoiding, break dysfunctional family programming, and peel back the layers of protection to finally get back to you.How Step 4 helps us reclaim our story by facing patterns, wounds, and protective roles through a “blameless inventory” rooted in curiosity—not shameWhy sharing your truth in Step 5 breaks the toxic family rules of “don’t talk, don’t trust, don’t feel”—and opens the door to connection and releaseThe emotional shift that happens in Step 6 when we move from self-blame to readiness for growth—even when change feels unfamiliar or scaryHow Step 7 invites us to surrender old survival strategies with compassion, not criticism—and begin embracing who we were always meant to beAndrea’s reflections on how these steps cracked open her healing in sobriety, and how they continue to shape her recovery today(In case you didn't hear last week's episode on Steps 1-3, you can here --> The Healing Sequence: Denial, Awareness, Acceptance & Action)⬇️DAMN THE JOIN SHITSHOW - ADULT CHILD HEALING COMMUNITY⬇️www.adultchildpodcast.com/shitshow4 weekly zoom support groups (Sun 3: 30 pm EST, Mon 8:30 pm EST, Tues 1 pm EST, & Thurs 8:30 pm EST)Support community at your fingertips with discussion boards and chat📰SIGN UP FOR SHITSHOW NATION - ADULT CHILD NEWSLETTER👩HELP A GIRL & CAT EAT🐱 www.buymeacoffee.com/adultchild🛍️SHITSHOW MERCH🛍️www.adultchildpodcast.com/shop🎙️NEW TO THE POD🎙️How I learned I was an Adult Child - The Tale of 2 BriansTHE LAUNDRY LIST - Common Characteristics of an Adult ChildFollow Andrea on socialwww.instagram.com/adultchildpodwww.tiktok.com/@adultchildpodhttps://www.youtube.com/@adultchildpodOur Sponsors:* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://happymammoth.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
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SHITSHOW SATURDAY #147 - Ashlie T.
Mar 29, 202500:48:19Summary readyBREATHE TO HEAL: A 6-Week Journey of Somatic Release - Get your spot here LIMITED CAPACITY --> adultchildpodcast.com/breathetoheal⬇️DAMN THE JOIN SHITSHOW - ADULT CHILD HEALING COMMUNITY⬇️https://theshitshow.mn.co4 weekly zoom support groups (Sun 3: 30 pm EST, Mon 8:30 pm EST, Tues 1 pm EST, & Thurs 8:30 pm EST)Support community at your fingertips with discussion boards and chat📰SIGN UP FOR SHITSHOW NATION - ADULT CHILD NEWSLETTER👩HELP A GIRL & CAT EAT🐱 www.buymeacoffee.com/adultchild🛍️SHITSHOW MERCH🛍️www.adultchildpodcast.com/shop🎙️NEW TO THE POD🎙️How I learned I was an Adult Child - The Tale of 2 BriansTHE LAUNDRY LIST - Common Characteristics of an Adult ChildFollow Andrea on socialwww.instagram.com/adultchildpodwww.tiktok.com/@adultchildpodhttps://www.youtube.com/@adultchildpod⚠️Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://happymammoth.comOur Sponsors:* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://happymammoth.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
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